Ferrets and Hedgehogs
by Parchment Stew
Summary: Fernando, the newest pet at LPS made a big mistake. He pissed off Writer.
1. Chapter 1

"Now, Writer, I'll be back in a few hours."

Me and Monica were going to a Fanfictonia writers convention. She made squeaking noise with her tires.

"Personality, come on! We're gonna be late!"

"Chill you cheese, I'm coming! Be nice, Writer. Keep the kids outta trouble! And-"

"Come on!"

"You know everything else! Bye!"

I kissed the hedgehog's forehead and ran out. He waved goodbye as we rode off.

Writer smiled and walked into the play room. He was instantly tackled by a yellow blur.

Buttercream.

"Hi, Wally!"

The hyperactive rabbit let them up. She leaned up against his slightly slender frame.

"The kids just crashed from their 5-hour sugar rush. They won't be up for about 4 days."

"Again? Make sure to feed them later."

Buttercream nodded and leaned her head on her husband's arm.

Suddenly, the chime of the pet shop door opening rang through the play area. A man walked in, holding a kennel crate.

The man opened up the kennel and a ferret jumped out.

"Now, Fernando, play nice. I'll be back in a few hours to pick you up."

The man had a thick Portuguese. Fernando nodded and watched as his owner walked out.

As soon as his owner was down the street, Fernando turned around to see 9 pets smiling at him. He recoiled just a bit.

"Oh, don't be scared Fernando. We're a friendly bunch here at Littlest Pet Shop! I'm Russell, by the way."

"I'm Zoe, darling."

"I am Sunil!"

"I'm Pepper!"

"I'm Vinnie!"

"I'm Penny Ling!"

"I'm Minka!"

"Hiya-miya! I'm hyper-wyper Buttercream!"

"I'm Wallace, but you can call me Writer Rhymes."

Fernando shook paws with all of them. But was slightly hesitant to shake Writer's.

"I am Fernando, as you already know. I am a brother to Francisco. I believe he went to the fair with your sister, no?"

Sunil nodded.

Fernando's accent was as thick as his owners.

Mrs. Twombly's voice rang through the pets ears.

"Sweeties! Snack time!"

All the pets, except for Writer and Fernando, all ran off into the lobby for treats.

The slender-ish hedgehog smiled at his friends and whipped around.

Only to see Fernando towering over him.

"You're that PersonalitySoup's pet aren't you, señor?"

"I'm not her pet, I'm her companion. So if you would be so kind as to get it straight."

Fernando huffed at Writer, sending air down his green sweater.

"You know, that owner of yours?"

"I believe I do know of her."

Fernando huffed again.

"I have always that of her as nothing but a mentally ill 11-year-old."

"What?"

"You heard me, señor. She nothing but a nut. She belongs in a mental asylum. I can hear the song she would sing as he rocked back in forth in her tiny padded cell."

Francisco began sing softly.

"_They're coming to take me away, ha-ha. They're coming to take me away, ho-ho. He-he, ha-ha. To the funny farm, where live is beautiful all the time_."

Writer, being trained by me to get mad in a calm way, merely turned his nose up at Fernando.

"You, my bad man, are nothing but a ferret. A ferret who wants to get into people's minds and make them feel bad. But not my mind. So, if you be so kind, as to fu-"

Fernando's claws met with Writer's cheek. The hedgehog skid back a few feet paw on cheek.

Fernando, you possibly just made the worst mistake of your little ferret life.

"Don't you dare speak to in such a manner! I am your king!"

Everyone had came back in time to see Fernando slash Writer. The ferret looked at them all.

"That goes for you all! I am your-"

Fernando was interrupted by a swift punch to the jaw. When he recovered, he saw his attacker.

Writer.

"You dare attack me, peasant?"

Writer spat on the floor.

"I ain't no peasant, partner."

Writer's usual Tennessee twang (I have one too) had thickened considerably.

And, boy, did he sound mad.

He walked toward Fernando, one step at time, until they were snout to snout.

"Listen up because Ah'm only gonna speak this once. I was taught, that if someone bullies you in a physical manner, you beat their ass!"

Everyone was taken back at Writer's suddenly language.

The hedgehog grabbed Fernando by his collar fluff.

"And son..."

Writer spat on the floor again.

"You went and done hit me..."

Writer brought him closer.

"Now..."

Writer chuckled before looking up with serious eyes.

"You gots to pay for it."


	2. Chapter 2

Writer slammed Fernando to the ground and began punching him dead in the face. Fernando's nose began bleeding, but he managed to kick Writer off of him.

Writer skid on all fours, claws out. He charged Fernando, who grabbed him by the collar of his sweater and threw him into the wall, creating a hole.

Writer launched out of the hole and latched onto Fernando. The enraged hedgehog began scratching at him.

The ferret and the hedgehog eventually rolled into a big ball of violence and rolled out the door. The pets followed after them.

Fernando and Writer rolled out into the street, stilling fighting. Fernando noted the car, heading straight for Writer.

"Bye-bye, rodent!"

Instead of hitting him, the diamond on Writer's collar flashed. It was deep red, since it reflected Writer's mood.

The car that was supposed the hit Writer, disassembled and reassembled next to him. Fernando growled and launched himself at Writer.

The two began brutally fighting again, but on the sidewalk.

Writer sent gashes down Fernando's chest, while the ferret used his back paws to scratch up Writer's belly.

Blood stained the sidewalk as the two tumbled down the street.

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Not anytime soon!"

Writer spat a bloody tooth right into Fernando's face. The ferret stopped to wipe the blood from his eyes.

Writer grabbed him by the ankles and slammed him into the ground serval times before flinging him into a wall. The ferret jumped from the hole and continued the two's bloody rolling ball.

Fernando grabbed Writer by the shoulders and pulled him over his head, slamming Writer's head into the ground. He pulled forward, sending the hedgehog flying.

Writer spat out the gravel he had tasted as he skid across the pavement. He lunged at Fernando and they began rolling again, leaving a now thicker crimson trail.

Writer got a good hold of Fernando.

"Up we go!"

Fernando stared at the white wings that suddenly began to levitate at Writer's sides. They began flapping, lifting them both up into the air.

Writer dropped Fernando, the ferret landing on his head with a groan. He growled and climbed a building ladder. He jumped up and tackled Writer, sending them both back to the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, dude, wanna get a snack real quick?"

"Sure, why not?"

The two animals stopped their fighting and walked over to a pet food vendor.

"One bag of Herbivore Trail Mix, extra cashews if you please. What do you want?"

"Um, let me get a bag of Omnivore Munch."

Writer placed the need amount of cash on the table and the two grabbed their bags. They walked over to a near by bench and sat down. They began eating together.

"You know, this is my first time in America."

"Really?"

"Yes. I've lived in Rio De Janeiro my whole life. It is very nice up there. Always great weather."

"Sounds real nice. I might visit some time."

"I must admit though, your accent is quite funny."

"My accent? Oh! You mean my twang! Yeah, PersonalitySoup's a Tennesseean, so she has the same thing. I just picked up on it."

"You know señor?"

"What?"

"You and that yellow bunny. You two are married, no?"

"Yep. Got 4 kids, too."

"Really, señor?"

"Yeah! But you probably won't see them for a few days."

"Why not?"

"Because they're in a sugar coma."

"I am so sorry, señor!"

"Don't worry about it. This kind of thing happens all time to them. They'll be up in about 4 to 3 days."

Fernando chuckled lightly and continued eating.

Soon, the two had finished their food and recycled their bags. They had gotten to know each other well.

"Wait a minute."

The pets looked at each other.

"Why were we fighting again?"

Fernando opened his mouth, as if to give an answer, but it shut seconds after.

"I do not remember, señor."

The pets looked at each other and shrugged. They shook bloody paws and began walking back to Littlest Pet Shop.

"Hold on."

Writer looked at Fernando.

"We can not go in their looking like this!"

Writer checked himself over.

He was bleeding in several places from gashes everywhere. He had a blackish eye and his sweater was in tatters. Some of his teeth were missing.

Fernando has missing fur in some places. He had cuts and bruises everywhere, most leaking a slow stream of blood. He also had a blackish eye and his tail and right ear were torn.

"This? This is nothing! You should have seen how I looked when I had to fight a bat!"

Writer took his diamond, which had returned to its golden color, into his paw and held it up.

(One bright flash later)

Fernando and Writer smiled at their healed forms and walked into Littlest Pet Shop.

Almost instantly, Fernando was ambushed by the males of Littlest Pet Shop.

"Guys! Guys! FELLAS!"

Writer yelled "Fellas," with his thickened accent. Everyone hushed and looked at the hedgehog.

"Leave him alone!"

Everyone looked at Writer in confusion.

"We made up so everything's fine now!"

"Yes! Señor Writer is correct! We are best buddies now!"

The ferret and the hedgehog wrapped their arms around each other's shoulders, in a buddy kinda way.

"Um...ok."

"We're sorry, Fernando."

The door opened and Fernando's owner walked in, me behind him.

"Come, Fernando. It is time to go home."

Fernando waved goodbye to Writer and hopped into his kennel crate.

"That goes for you too, Writer."

The hedgehog took his place on my shoulder and I began walking the opposite direction of Fernando's owner.

Writer and Fernando waved goodbye to each other. They turned back around.

"Lousy weasel."

"Stupid porcupine."


End file.
